AMOREM Volunteer Tony Deal, Retires After 40 Years of Service

AMOREM Volunteer Retires After 40 Years of Service

LENOIR- AMOREM volunteer Tony Deal recently retired after more than 40 years of service to AMOREM’S patients and their families in and around the Caldwell County service area.

Deal began his journey with AMOREM in 1983 when he was called to serve on Caldwell Hospice and Palliative Care’s Board of Directors. He served on the board for more than a decade and after finding the hospice movement to be a great success in Caldwell County, stepped down from his position in 1995.

“I got started in hospice when my sister passed away at the age of 36,” says Deal, “Hospice was not even involved at that time. All we had was a minister who came in to pray for the family and so I was frustrated with that. There was no communication and no compassion, and it was a shame. When I heard of the hospice movement in our area, I knew that I needed to be involved in it so, I joined the Board of Directors for Caldwell Hospice.”

During his tenure on the Board of Directors for, Deal played a role in the committee that hired long-term CEO, Cathy Swanson. This was noted as one of his largest accomplishments during his time on the board. He also taught workshops to staff, joined along on staff retreats where he would provide education and music and taught the communication portion of volunteer training.

“After my time on the board, I decided that I was very interested in volunteering with legacy Caldwell,” says Deal. “During all my years, I have had some very interesting patient stories.”

Deal goes on to recount the many wonderful individuals that he met through volunteering with AMOREM which include a fisherman who he was able to take out for one more cast and later spread his ashes at his favorite fishing spot on Wilson’s Creek, the memory of an old-time music lover who he took to one more show and the encouraging moment that he witnessed a mother and son reconcile their relationship.

“It seemed that I was always assigned the most interesting of patients,” says Deal, “I was really able to become a part of these people’s families, and I have a number of folks that I still think of today and laugh about the times that we were able to share together and those memories that we were able to make.”

The most important element of volunteering, in Deal’s opinion, is the ability to truly listen to a patient and their family. He recounts the time that a patient was actively dying and the family began to discuss the many camping trips that they had experienced with their loved one. Due to Deal’s keen ability to listen, while the family’s eyes filled with tears, he began to ask the family where they had camped and what their favorite camp-side memories were. These questions brought the family a sense of peace during the dying process that they had not yet been able to feel. The gentle distraction, prompted by deep listening, allowed the family to dry their eyes and smile for the life that their loved one had lived.

“There is a great deal of fulfillment that has come with volunteering,” says Deal. “People would always ask me how I was able to handle death but, in reality, most of my interactions with patients were truly about living – living in the moment with them, listening, laughing, loving and talking. When you really understand that you’re not in charge and that your role is to bring positivity, that’s what makes a great volunteer.”

In 2004, Deal received a National Hospice Volunteer award for his outstanding service to patients and their families. He credits this accomplishment to the writers at AMOREM who sent a nomination, however, the organization is well aware that this accomplishment comes from his selfless acts of love towards patients and their families and was well deserved.

“Tony is one of the most selfless, unconditionally loving persons I know,” says Director of Volunteer Services Cyndi Akins. “In addition to his heart of gold, he has musical gifts and talents that can lift any soul!  When you’re around Tony, you’re happy!  His humor is simply contagious! I am honored to have had the privilege of spending time with Tony over the course of my living in Caldwell County for many years. And, not only has our community been blessed by Tony, but AMOREM has been blessed beyond measure for his service as a board member and volunteer.”

Volunteer Support Specialist Crystal Burch adds, “Tony has been willing to share both his time and talents by volunteering with AMOREM. His willingness to give selflessly to help others speaks to both his strength and the quality of his character. When he volunteers, he commits to sharing the most precious resource he has, his time. The fruits of his labors have made a tangible impact, on AMOREM’s patients and families.”

After serving AMOREM for nearly 40 years, Deal has been left only with joy for all of the memories that he has collected and the lives that touched him, and he touched back. Deal is also the author of two books, “Clowning Around with Prostate Humor” and “Bouquets Hadn’t Been Invented Yet: How One Highly Sensitive Girl Changed the World”.  During his tenure with AMOREM, Deal kept extensive journals of his experiences which he may, one day, turn into a third book.

“If I went back to 1983 right now, I would do all of this over again,” says Deal.

AMOREM’s Volunteer Services program adds to the quality of patient and family lives by providing support, companionship and assistance as requested by the patient and family. To learn more about volunteer services for patients and families or to learn about volunteer opportunities at AMOREM, please visit www.amoremsupport.org/volunteer.